Now I'm three days away of going back to classes. And I've been true to my word. I spend less time around here during vacation time that when I'm busy with school.

In any case, on monday I went to see the Batman movie with Nataly. It was pretty cool. I'm gonna miss Heath Ledger. I managed to enjoy the movie even with a HUGE headache bothering me. I've been having some of those in the past few months, and that bugs me, but is never bad enough to cause problems.

I went to cut my hair after that. I don't know if I like the end result yet, but still, I needed the change. I get bored easily with my hair, and I won't dye it until summer, so the cut was a good idea.

on tuesday I went to visit Misa and her baby. She seems to be a lucky mom, cus her kid is usually quiet and sleeps most of the night. Isn't that awesome for a one month old? She showed me a video of her wedding, and really, I don't like traditional catholic weddings cus I'm not a believer, but she did look beautiful with the white dress and stuff. I'm kind of glad I was in the States back then, though, cus going to that wedding meant wearing a formal dress and hills. No thank you.

Wednesday was Berni's day. I went to her place and we drank too much coffee and she gave me anime to watch. I think I'll try one tomorrow, as part of my "stuff to do on vacation" list. I'm glad she called me and we got together. I'm awful at keeping in touch sometimes, but is so easy to spend the time with her, and with Eduardo, whom I expect to see soon because I've still his b-day present around here somewhere.

Today I went downtown to pay my mom's bills and buy my grandma's really expensive pills. And then I got my room half-clean. I'm still working on it. I've also started writing again, thankfully. I haven't finish my book, though, and I want to do that by tomorrow.

I also want to go have lunch with my dad. Maybe visit Alejandra. Manage to get my mom out of the house when her work is finished would be awesome!

And then classes again. Sigh. Well, until september anyway.

Three days into my week vacation and I've already accomplished several things I had wanted to do for a while now.

We went out to eat as a family to a Swedish restaurant because my mom wanted to try fondue. Then everything else in the menu reminded her of something her mom used to cook when she was little and everything she eat at home was in German. I actually asked for something I didn't know what it was and tried some of the stuff that were around in the table. Yummy.

Before that I went with my dad and one of my brothers to the stadium to watch a soccer game. It's been years since I had gone, so I decided to go with them after I actually convinced them to go. Our team won, so we left the place really happy and nobody destroyed anything (that I know of). We had no mayor issues with the police except for the fact they kept not paying attention to me when we went in and I keep thinking it would be really easy for me to kill someone inside because they would never, ever, consider me a suspect.

I'm also half way through my first vacation book. I'm reading Last Chance to See by Douglas Adams. I'm guessing I'll be giving this book to my mom after I finish it, cus it's just her style to want to go visit lost islands with endangered species and take pictures of them. Just the kind of thing I will never do because as much as I love the stuff I watch in the Discovery Channel, I'm much of a paranoiac to go to a place where the list of ways I can die doubles just by trying to get there.

Alejandra and her boyfriend came by just a little while ago to pick up my mom's laptop, cus I asked him to fix it so it'll have all the programs my mom wants in it. Yes, I am that good of a daughter. And I shouldn't be, cus I've just found out my mom watched my Saint Patrick's Day's pictures that I stupidly left in the laptop for her to find. Fuck it. I didn't want my mom seeing me in that state. I know there's a video in there when I'm trying to bust a friend's confidence by telling her her boobs are great and then the two of us (Milagros and I), plus Jessica, danced too close to each other for the camera and it was more ridiculous than sexy and I was (kind of) drunk. Argh.

Tomorrow I'm going to the movies with Nataly and then I'm cutting my hair. I've had enough of it already. On tuesday I'm visiting Misa and her baby and sometime on friday I have to check on Alejandra to let her complain about work because she wasn't able to do much of it tonight.

I have to call Berni and Vesna and Josemar one of this days. To have coffee at least. I miss them, and I know it will be Cesar's birthday soon, and I want to see him, so hopefully everything between him and Vesna is going fine.

Katia's birthday is the week after this one, and I have to send her at least a postcard. I haven't talk to her since last year, and she hasn't post anything in her LJ. I know she was planning on traveling outside of Mexico for some time, but she would have say something, right? I'm worried. I could call her home, but I'm always an idiot on the phone. I know I should try writing her an e-mail, and I will. When did I became such a lousy mail-writer? That's how we first communicated, before blogs and LJs. Then things became easier and I became lazy.

I have manage to make a decent order of my PC, though. I have all my music in one place again, which is a lot to say, considering it's over 30 GB of files and mp3s. I'm also coping every drama and tv show I have in dvds and in order. Which means I also started downloading the stuff I was missing to have complete sets. Buffy, Farscape and the season I didn't have from Scrubs are now downloading.

Considering I haven't have a real vacation since the last winter vacation last year, cus the vacation in september it was kinda messy and I didn't have any summer vacation, I'm doing pretty good organizing my time!

Yesterday I had a test and a dissertation right after that. The first one on a text about emission trading systems as way of controlling pollution and the possibility of using that here in Santiago, cus we kind of need it. Even if I really don't know how I did on that test, I kinda liked the subject, so it was time well invested.

The second thing was about something similar, in a sense that treating our natural resources as environmental services and assets and giving them economical value helps controlling its use and abuse, and that was what our presentation was about. I kinda read all of what I had to talk about, cus it was a lot and kind of complicated if I didn't say it exactly like I had wrote it, but I think it was OK. The only problem was the teacher wasn't there, but only his assistant, and he's an ass who thinks very highly of himself and the stuff he knows, so he started talking going around the subject instead of asking us a question, and when he finally did, it was what we *just* said was our conclusion. And he did it again when the next group finished and decided to do a comparison between our works and wouldn't it be a great proposition to do something about it, like including some of it in the law or something, don't you think? Then I got pissed and I had to exclaim: "That's what we just said!" Gah. I'm kind of angry cus I really wanted to have the teacher see us and comment. He's kind of my favorite teacher this semester and I like that he also knows his assistant is an ass and made very clear that it wasn't his decision to keep him there, mostly cus when he told us we were gonna see the guy's face again this semester I snorted and he kind of nodded at me like saying "I know!".

Anyway, after that I went to pay a bill and when I finally went back home, Daniella called me on the bus. Of course, we ended up talking for an hour, both of us going back home on different cities. Kinda cool, I have to say. She finally finished this long, long semester and will come visit me on monday. Yay!

After I had lunch, though, I couldn't stay standing anymore. I put another episode of the kdrama I'm watching and went to bed. I think I managed to stay awake for half of it. It was cold and I was tired and I didn't slept much the night before, so I fell sound sleep for the rest of the day. I actually awoke around nine or ten, but then I thought, what the hell, and went back to sleep. I usually don't like to sleep too much cus it makes my head hurt, but this time it felt awesome.

Today I spend the day making some order of my computer. My fic collection is huge and I don't really know which story is which anymore, so I had to make files. My vid collection is better organized, thankfully, but Iv'e downloaded a lot of stuff lately so I placed everything where it belongs. My music file is still a mess, but I'm just not touching that yet.

I also started writing again. I had forgotten how much I like it and how freaking hard it is when the language you're writing in is not your own. I mean, I write here all the time, but what I write is pretty simple, I don't have to use the "right word" to say anything. Ah, anyway. At least I'm doing it.

I watched the Anego SP. I liked it. It had a story to tell aside of being a resumed version of the drama, and the excuse they use to re-tell the drama made sense cus Anego's co-workers really didn't know a big part of her story so it worked for them to ask about it. It does go in the "dramas I want to write an extra ending of" list. Though, actually marrying Naoko-san and Kurosawa-kun sounds a little too simple after all. I'll have to think about it.

Ah, now I'll go to msn looking for Lupe. I have to give her some links.

I came to realize I'm a lazy ass person, but I love my friends.

And I will definitely have to work on teams when I go out to the Real World.

A talk with Alejandra made it pretty clear to me, last weekend. When I told her I had to write an essay on territorial planning and I just kept leaving the task for another day, she said "Javi, I need your help! I need to write an essay on territorial planning, can you do it for me?"

It made me laugh, but is true. I'm more likely to write a good essay for a friend if he/she needs it, than do it for me when I have to.

That's why I actually like working in groups. It's a pain in the ass when the rest of the group is lazy, but in those cases I'll just do all the work and I'll at least feel good about *that*. When the group is good, my competitively shows up, and I don't want to be left behind and BE the lazy one.

Mariana and Larissa, the classmates I'm closer to (and yes, I call them friends now), are great in that respect. They are really smart, they always get the best grades in every class, and they like to work with me. Since two semesters ago we've been doing almost every group homework and project together (and that's a lot, considering what I'm studying. It's hard for me to keep up with them. I'm just not that smart. But I get the job done cus I want to put my grain of sand in our work.

When I work alone... I just don't do it. Or do it in the last possible minute. Which I did, for the essay anyway. I need to change that. I'm trying that this weekend. See if I can study *before* tuesday for the bio-geography test on wednesday.

I did got to talk about about territorial planning with my dad. It was really interesting. I like the subject, is something where geographers are needed and is not that difficult, just unknown. Sadly, is something my dad has work in, and that's a problem for me.

If a want to work in that field I can try, of course, I kinda want to, because even if I love disasters (natural or otherwise) as study subjects, they need a lot more preparation on chemistry and physics, actually, and I'm lousy with both. So regional processes and territorial planning can be it, but that WILL mean working, one way or another, with someone that knows and has work with my dad.

I didn't study sociology in part because I wanted to avoid that. My dad. I love him to death, really, but he's a hard guy to follow, and I never really wanted to. Is not that we don't agree on things, we do, and I'm a daddy's girl, so we *adore* each other and everything we do! I'm hugely proud of him! But I am *not* him, I'll never be him, and I don't want to be related to him while working.

My brothers are a lot more like him than I am, but I know they don't want to be his shadow either. Well, maybe Joaco. He's studying sociology and is politically motivated and has the confidence Santi and I lack to follow his steps. But me? It scares the crap out of me the day I'll have to go out looking for a career-related job and I'll find out the people I may end up working for are friends or former workmates of my dad.

And that CAN happen, easily. You know that six degrees with Kevin Bacon? My dad's WORSE! I'm pretty sure I can make a six degrees connection with *Yamapi* from him. He does work for a Japanese company right now!

I got a little off-track. I guess I'm bored. I've been trapped at home today, just when the two days before I had a break and rested here too. Damn rain. It's probably gonna rain again tomorrow. The sun didn't last long, though it was beautiful.

Ok, so I don't have a new PC. Or, kinda. I got my old computer fixed last night. How awful do you think was for me to finally got home and NOT have internet access in my own house because the pc got sick while I was away? Horrifying!

But, Berni and Eduardo came to visit me yesterday and as a birthday gift they took everything away from my pc and put it together again minus all the viruses and programs I didn't used. I still have to install a functioning version of Window Media Player or make Winam read kanjis, 'cus I didn't give myself the trouble of having my Japanese and Taiwanese music in its original language if I can't read it now to know what the hell I'm suppose to be listening (A huge problem if I'm still learning the long titles of both SHE and Fahrenheit.

I need to re-install ArcGis too. That the program I have to use in classes to create and modify maps. That one didn't work before either, so it had to go with the crap. Now I need the new version from a classmate. I should take the opportunity and install SimCity 4, now that I think about it... I will be using it in class next semester, better get just to the game soon.

My mom bought me a super wonderful ultra cool monitor for my old pc and the cool part is (apart of the size and being flat screened), it works as a TV too. So, I can watch the news in the morning, work on it on the afternoon and watch dvds with my mom at night. Nice, huh?

I also bought on the net two NEWS cds. The "Pacific" album and the single "Weeeek". Both of them are LOVE. Expensive, but LOVE indeed. Have I mention that, because this is TOTALLY Daniela's fault, ('cus she decided it was a good idea to send me cds full of vids of this cute cool Japanese group during my stay in the northern hemisphere right after filling my mp4 with their albums), that I'm completely obsess with NEWS now? Ok, so I'm falling hard for Kanjani8 right about now and both Arashi and KAT-KUN have good songs, but NEWS has Yamapi, and that goes above everything, *specially* after that photoshoot in february that made me feel a lot better about my obsession with him, 'cus, seriously, after that, who can say no to him?? And another thing, Massu is in my ringtone now. LOVE him! (Though I kinda would rather have his song "Pumpkin" as a ringtone... 'what's for dinner tonight? I wanna Pumpkin!' would sound AWESOME! Hee.)

Anyhow... I'm still organizing stuff and cleaning all over the place, not to mention I just got a reminder I have homework to do. Sigh. This semester I'm learning the name of plants in Latin. I don't know yet if I found that cool or a complete waste of my time. At least I have it easy. After learning kanjis for so many years, a group of confusing looking names are NOT gonna be a problem!

Any other news? (no pun intended)... I have cold. Like, one with headaches included, really annoyed. And I got so many earrings for my birthday I think I need new holes in my ears, gods.

Today is snowing. Not more than usual, but it's the seconds time it is snowing when I have to walk around half the town. I came to the library right after that, after catching my check and buying a bunch of books in the bookstore. By the way, Nataly, Alejandra, and Paula, if you're reading this, you can tell if there's a book you'd love to have and I can probably buy it here. Is a lot cheaper than back in Chile, I can try it without problem! Just let me know.

So, there's a bunch of stuff I wanted to at least mention. For example, the LOST premiere was last week, and for the first time since the show has first been on the air, I watched an episode, more so, a season premiere, at the same time than the first group of people that watch it! I love it! Of course, it was sad and I still feel like crap because of Charlie's death and the show won't be the same without Dom, but, lets just say the writers manage to acknowledge that in this season premiere.

Another subject, much more important, is that Misa is getting married this week. And because you have not been easy to communicate with, Ale!, Paula asked me to try and remind you that MISA IS GETTING FREAKING MARRIED THIS WEEK, DON'T FORGET!!! Well, that's done.

I finally watched Reservoir Dogs the other day. Gruesome, yes, but a great movie, of course. Hence the title of this post. I also got to watch the first two seasons (and I already rented the third) of OZ, so I have a new fandom. For those who don't know, OZ is a prison show, a lot more realistic and twisted than Prison Break, a show that I never liked because it was too... pretty. The main character is too pretty, the prison itself is too pretty, and for all the freaky characters on it, they're not half as psychotic as the inmates in OZ. Plus, a lot of more frontal nudity. And it has Christopher Meloni, J.K. Simmons and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as this truly awful devious characters, like you have never seen them before (seriously, I can't watch L&O SVU anymore without seeing Meloni naked and doing it hard against a wall with his pseudo inmate boyfriend). Then we have Harold Perrineau as the narrator of the comings and goings of the crazy population of Emerald City, and my favorite, Dean Winters as Irish Ryan O'Reilly, "Lord of the Fucking Dance". I have a thing for master manipulators.

What else? Ah, the other day one of the girls that lives with me had an emotional breakdown. It was kinda freaky. I mean, it's completely natural to have your emotions take control of yourself and take the worst out of you and make you feel like crap and alone when you're so far away from home and you miss your family and your friends and your pseudo boyfriend that it's not really your boyfriend because the idiot is giving you mixed signals from across the globe. I just wish I could make Beatriz understand that and make her stop bottling things up to explode in a couple of weeks from now again. And taking it out on me. This time it didn't happen, but a couple of days before she had an outburst about me always blaming others when something didn't go my way. I'm not saying that's not true, it is, sometimes. She clearly doesn't know me well enough to realize that I'm very good at blaming myself as much as I love to blame others. But the thing is, she told me that totally out of context because she did bottle it up inside for a while, I could tell. I was nice enough to not tell her to screw herself and to look at the mirror because she's not exactly perfect either, I did tell her to let me know at the moment if something I say is annoying her to, well, stop speaking to her.

This bring me to another topic. I miss my people. My family, my friends. I have say it before, most of the gringos here are nice and friendly and couldn't be more welcoming (or hot, this place is full of readheads, full! First Brian, now I have a crush on a girl called Jessica that really loves to dance tight and calls me "hottie" every time we see each other, I love her!), but, seriously? There's no one here I could call a friend. Not the gringos, not the peruvians, not the chileans. I would have loved to come to this place with a friend, though we both would have ended pretty bored pretty quickly. This is a small town! My mom keep insisting I should try and go to Canada since I'm just kilometers away, but because of the lack of public transportation is hard to cross the border and come back in a weekend, like I would love to. To at least say "I went to Canada too!" he.

I miss you guys. A lot.

I was gonna talk about the changes in my house because, believe it or not, the only reason I have cry so far while being here is because I won't have a room when I finally go home. Not only that, I realize I also won't have a computer room, that really, that was my little sanctuary inside the house, and I won't have it. I feel like crap because of that. I keep thinking in a way to leave my house and live on my own, but it's ridiculous because I still have school and I love living with my parents... Anyway, no I don't really want to talk about it.

Oh, another thing. Daniela! I freaking LOVE NEWS! I've been listening to Pacific all week, I mostly love "Code", "Ai no Matador", of course "Sayaendo" and "Ai Nante". Thank you!

This took a lot more time that I intended. Sigh. it feels nice, in any case. Greetings to all, I love you.

Hey everybody!

Things are slowing down this days. The holidays are over and it's really cold outside, so we don't have as many people as a week ago. That's a bad thing because I don't have to work every day and I make less money, but I'm finally able to breath again and do other stuff, like taking snowboarding classes!! I got my ass kicked the other day, but it was fun, and of course I'm trying it again, until I'm able to stop without throwing myself at the snow, on my ass, at least. Then I'm taking skiing. In Chile it's too expensive for me to do this, here is rather cheap and I see snow every day, how could I not do it? When I get hang of it I'm taking pictures, so you all can see me crash, how does that sound, eh?

I also started working the register. It's not as complicated as I thought, though I don't think I woulda been capable of working it when we where working at full speed. I'm good at math, but I don't trust myself with money, it's too much of a responsibility. This is going to my curriculum, of course.

Mariana took my classes for me the other day. She didn't had a problem, thank Aslan. I have like three days off in a row (saturday, sunday and monday), maybe I can go look for a job on those days. School is gonna be tough this semester, but I have to keep learning to take care of myself without bothering my parents so much.

I did mention before that the library was my favorite place. Still is. I rented My Own Private Idaho the other day, because, duh, I'm IN Idaho! It is a weird movie, I have to say. I also found the '80 TV show of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, witch I still haven't watch. I've rented a lot of books too. I already read Treasure Box by Orson Scott Card, that is always fun to read, The Salmon of Doubt by Douglas Adams, amusing even after death, and I'm reading a new children's book collection called Everworld, by the same author of Animorphs, this time with every mythology god out there in a parallel universe. A little gruesome so far for a children's book, but hey, I'm not a child, right?

Have to go now. I still miss you all. I did send a card to Liz on her birthday, and also a lot of postcards for you all, so keep a lookout, and let me know when you get them, so I know how much time it takes to go from here to there and all.

Ale! I wrote an answer to your comment in my last post, read it!

So. This is life without internet access: A lot of hard work, enough sleep, not eating too healthy, a few books to keep you company, the same music you have in you mp4 every morning and not a lot much else to do.

I'm not emo and I've been busy enough to not really feel the lack of communication as of yet. Of course, the moment I star reading my mail and your posts, I will feel different. I already saw the amount of e-mails from you guys, and from my family (my parents seem to miss me a lot more than I miss them. Is not true, I miss them a lot, I'm just dealing better with it, I think) and it bothers me that I won't be ably to reply to every one as a would like, because I don't have all that much time.

You see, I seem to be VERY good at my job. It's a simple job, anyone could do it, really. The thing is, not everyone DOES. I clean the store, stock everything up: bottles, coffee, chips, candies... make sure the Lakeview (that is the main place to get food in the resort (it's a coffee shop and a fast food restaurant)) is always presentable and that people inside get all they need after going on a ride in the mountain. I wasn't suppose to be the only busser, but the other two guys backed out of the program. So my boss, Connie, had a choice: Hiring other people, or giving us more hours. Of course, we asked for more hours! myself and the cashiers (there are five of them: three Chilean (Valentina, whom I like and has help me out a lot, but whom I have nothing in common with. Patty, same story. And Memo, whom I don't like, because he's a lazy ass that looks at women as if he wants to eat them), one Peruvian (Claudia, that lives with me, has a potty mouth and is really, really gay) and one gringo (Sean, a great guy a little hard to describe any other way than "it's Sean", and he has a brother, Brian, that works in the storage room downstairs and I think I have a crush on him)). So I work more hours, and the cashiers are suppose to help me out, and they do, most of them anyway, but the main stuff I do all by myself or with Connie's help. In three weeks I've manage to become relevant enough that Connie was really pissed off at the world the day I didn't work there because I offer to help out the pizza place upstairs when they were short-staffed (that was a lot of fun, by the way, working with Sarah (the boss, that has drive me home a couple of times when I had finish working way too late), Milagros (another roommate from Peru), Matt (who is adorable like a teddy-bear, he's 17), Nicole (that's on vacation right now and Liz (that I don't know all that well yet)). The next day Sarah needed help again, and asked for me, but Connie said NO!, and Patty went upstairs instead. In any case, after the end of this week, things are suppose to calm down a little bit and I'll have less hours, so I can start a second job or something of the kind. I already talked with Michael, that runs all of the different food services in the building (four), and he knows I enjoyed working in Sam's Alley, so hopefully we can work something out, that or being a custodian, that is not fun at all, but I get pay a lot better because it is not fun at all.

Wow. writing I'm running out of time again. I do have my next day off next monday, though. If Connie doesn't change it again. But next week we don't have Night Ski (people go to ski at night, so we close at night, and I've been staying every night!) so when I get out of work I can come to the library more often and write in smaller paragraphs!

Happy New Year, people, I love you and miss you all!

So. I'm alive. And not emo. I'm not even that cold!

People here are really nice and patient, and I'm not having mommy issues yet, so I'm alright. I like it here. I'm gonna work hard and not earn that much money, but it's gonna be a fruitful summer... winter!

Though, because it's completely normal, please be prepare to deal with all kinds of emotions the next few months. I did a paper on "being away from home", so I know what I'm talking about.

I'm in the town library now. It's pretty. I think it's gonna be my favorite new place!

I had a nostalgic friday, an awesome saturday and a pain in the ass sunday. Long weekend.

My little brother isn't so little anymore. Last friday was his graduation. He played bass in front of a LOT of people and got recognition for his interest in math. I felt proud, old, and envious. My kind of goodbye wasn't that good. Wasn't any good, if I think about it. I'm not in contact with any of my classmates from back then. I didn't leave much of an impression on anyone... And history repeated itself when I was studying Translation. I have to do better this time around.

On that note, I got together with two groups of friends on saturday. First, after, like, two years? I think it was more than that... I went and visit Misa. It was wonderful. Again I felt happy and glad to found out that she and Paula, who was there, are doing good and are now more adult-like still being a little freaky. Misa is getting married in two months. Sadly, I won't be here to celebrate with here, but I'll be back before she has her baby (yes! she's pregnant too!), so I have time to catch up and become a proper aunty.

I found out Paula seems to like the same Japanese dramas that I watch, so I'll stuff her with all of those I've watch so far, so when I come back we will squeal like little girls together (we almost did on saturday, much to the annoyance of Alejandra).

After that, I went to Jose's house to get my goodbye party from them. We didn't do much, just talk about nonsense, but it was nice that they gather to wish me luck and all. Hopefully when I come back we can go to Caleu together again. That place is a bore for me, but with friends you can have fun anywhere, right?

On sunday I had to work on my last paper. We didn't finish it like we were suppose to. It was too much trouble by the end of it. I'm kinda sad I didn't help more, but at least it's done. Now I have a test tomorrow and my semester is finished. Thankfully.

I'm watching two new Japanese dramas. I want to finish them before going away. None of those are really up-lifting and light, and both may end really, really badly, but I can't help it if I enjoy stories about chance and coincidences. Both have Yamapi in it, too.

Sore wa Totsuzen Arashi no You ni (that means "It was sudden, like a storm") it's a story that seems perfect for a soap opera. It's even aimed for a older audience. It's about a woman in her 30' that realizes her life didn't turn out like it was suppose to, and not because things aren't bad it means she didn't wish they were different. And then, she meets a high school kid, who points out to her exactly what is that she feels and what she wants, so she starts feeling... it's like watching a crash waiting to happen. You just know it can't end well. The plot is good enough to distract you from some points any other way you could have picked up (and if I was distracted, that's saying a lot, considering I'm always the one to find out the end of a story by watching only half of it). The relationship between the main characters is surprisingly good too. You don't expect a 35 years old woman to have that much chemistry with a teenager, but I guess Yamapi does make the job of looking attracted to him easy, right?

Long Love Letter has a plot a little different... Though it's a lot about chance too. A math teacher tries to explain to his group of students in recuperation class about the science of "now" and points in space-time telling them of the time he couldn't call a girl that he met years ago because his phone was stolen right after exchanging numbers. I know, it sounds a little silly. But I refuse to explain further, cus I woulda loved being surprised with the twist at the end of the first episode but I already knew it was gonna happen. Just... listen to me on this one. It's better to be surprised.

Today... I went shopping with my mom (I have winter clothes now!). And I have a killer headache after yesterday, I'm gonna go to bed.

Think I'm kinda liking this. Is a lot faster than if I let myself rambling...

University: I finally had my presentation, and I totally blew it. I forgot everything and got really nervous. I don't really know why, because I was pretty sure what I was talking about was OK. Today I'm delivering a paper I only worked on for, like, an hour on each part (two), and I think it's not even that bad!

Trip: There's another guy traveling the same day as me, so I won't be alone in Spokane! Yay! I still don't have housing, but another girl that's traveling before me said it was easy once I'm there. I'll probably try to crash in her place for a while, though.

Health: Going to the gynecologist on saturday. Dentist is today.

Friends: I have to decided witch friends I'll be visiting on saturday. I'm gone in a week and a half, so I won't see anybody for four months! I have to say goodbye, right?

Fandom: I'm totally in love with Yamapi. The guy is awesome, a great actor and I like his singing voice. Plus, he's smart, incredibly shy and he's so in love with Ikuta Toma from Hanakimi I'm not even joking. They've been together since they're, like, eleven! After watching Proposal Daisakusen, that plot totally makes their relationship the "first and last they'll ever be in" for me.

Have to go to classes now!

University: Guhk. Horrible. The one presentation I've been waiting to finally deliver was postpone... again! The teacher assistant responsible for this is gonna burn in hell... or at least, I hope I don't see his face again next year. He can't keep not showing up when we need grades!

Health: Had my eco' today. Bad news. Still useless ovaries. Now I need to show all my tests to a doctor so they can give me some meds! Maybe my ovaries will never work, but I need my hormones in check!

Trip: Have my visa in hand. Almost have my plane ticket. Still no housing. And I need to buck a bus to go from Spokane to Sandpoint. Don't really know how to do that yet. And clothes, I still need clothes!

Friends: So... I finally talked with Carol, the friend that tried to kill herself a couple of weeks ago. I was busy and she was avoiding the subject! Anyway, I manage not to show her what I really feel about what she did (STUPID MORONIC ACTION!!), and I kinda sounded wise. I did tell her about the similarities between her stupidity and Claudia's, and I think I had my point understood. She's not close to being better or even good, but I think I helped, just a little, by not cuddling her but not been harsh either.

Fandom: Just watched Yamada Tarou's ending. It was nice. I didn't love this story like some of the others I've been watching, but I liked it, it made me cry more than once, and the ending I think was pretty good. No life-changing surprise out of nowhere (though, almost, for a second there) and a lot of sibling love. It's a feel-good kinda story.
Now I'll go watch Proposal Daisakusen, hoping this one really has a happy ending, because it has been breaking my heart all damned weekend!

University: Gonna be a busy week. Presentation tomorrow. Test three days from now. Two papers to deliver. Next week is gonna be WORSE. Another paper, and two more test. The worst kind of tests.

Trip: Freaking Out. Like, physically freaking out. I'm having some kind of... mild panic attacks? Angst attacks, my mom called them. Chest hurts like hell. Still don't have housing there. Nor clothes to survive the weather.

Health: Aside of the angst attacks, I'm done with most of my testings, after spending a fortune because the public hospital is on strike. I don't know where to take my tests once they're done BECAUSE the damn hospital is on strike!

Fandom: This is OK, thankfully. Nobuta has a great fandom and I already have read AWESOME fics post-ending. I'm watching Proposal Daisakusen, that is completely heart-breaking, and Kurosagi, and it's really interesting watch the same actor in all three (four if I include Stand Up!!), all of his characters are VERY different.

Life... in general: A complete MESS. I'm gone in two weeks and I'm not even close to been prepare, damn it!

Albert Camus once said that the purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself. I think that's true in many level. From history writers that reminds us of the mistakes of the past, to entertainment writers that keep us sane and civil and happy on a day to day basis.

I'm not a big supporter of strikes. Every year we go on strike at my university, and it seems pointless. But that's mostly because we're des-organized, we ask for things impossible to get and we're so use to going to strikes every year it doesn't hold the same power anymore.

The writers strike in the US IS organized, what they ask for is rather possible, and damn it, they deserve it, and they're going all the way, so yes, you have to support them so they can keep gaining momentum and power.

Is incredible how all of them are on the same page. Those writers who work on new shows this season are risking getting them canceled, and they are shows on their last season this year, after so much investment, and maybe they're not gonna get the ending they deserve because of this. Projects that just got greenlighted, like Joss Whedon's "Dollhouse", may not see the light of day after all... sigh.

But a show is a show, and if the writers know they could lose their jobs over this and are doing it anyway, we can't really be worry about a *show* just because we enjoy it. Is the people behind the show that matter. Because, ironically, we can always get what's gonna happen, or what could have happened, thank to the net. The same writers are gonna let us know. Just like they're using the net right now to inform the fans of their reasons.

http://www.youtube.com/user/wgaamerica

Go here and let them explain. Some of the videos are rather funny, all in all.

It's more than eight o'clock in the morning on a holiday. I just got home an hour ago from my big halloween party. I'm dead tired but I don't wanna go to sleep. For those who still don't know, I don't have a room anymore, so my bed is the big sofa in the living room, not a seclude place where I can sleep til noon without the movement and noise the rest of my family is gonna produce in an hour or so.

The party was OK. I was hopping it woulda been better, but though luck. I didn't even dance in the J-rock dance floor. Nor the Brit-pop. That kinda suck because every time we walked around them the music sounded great. The old wave' theme dance floor, that was the bigger room in the place, was where we danced most of the night. They showed a LOT of extremely FREAKY videoclips. But I got to dance "Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)" of Eurythmics, so everything was OK with the world. I love dancing to that song! Oh, and then we went to the Gothic room, and that didn't went too well, cus they were having some kind of gothic-tecno night that wasn't very fun to dance with. Of course, the two tecno dance floors we avoided like the plague!

What we did agree with Berni is that before I go to Idaho, we are going to a Kitsch party. There wasn't a Kitsch dance floor last night and that sucked. I have an irrational love for "Kitsch" music. Mostly because it goes from pop to '80s and '90s rock to old wave and new wave and even some salsa! and some crack music that it's just plain funny. It's dancing with every song that you have ever listened in the past, because, really, the only thing Kitsch doesn't include is present music styles, but the moment they get old, oh, it's a lot more fun to dance to them!

Hum. Have I ever mention that I like to dance? a lot? no? Well, now you know.

Life has been... slow-paced lately. I haven't study much. I have a hard time concentrating. I'm depressed and I don't really know why. And to make thing worse, my grandma is staying in my room... again. This time, it looks like she'll be staying until I'm gone to work in Idaho. I don't use my room much, but it's been a week and I've missed the comfort my own bed provides me. Sleeping in the living room is so... un-personal.

I need to have a couple of exams because my hormones have been acting up again. This has been a pain in the ass because I have to do them when I'm menstruating and first I was in Peru and then I didn't have any money. My last chance is go and have them done at the end of this month, because I'll be gone in december and I need something to fight the imbalance. Gods, I need to check my thyroids too. Damn it. Why only the women in the family seem to have all the medical problems? Ok, my dad isn't exactly peachy, but my brothers are healthier than a yogurt, is so not fair. Not that I want them sick, but come on, hormone problems they could have dealt with!

In other, better, news, I watched more of the stuff that tsubasa_lupin gave me, mainly Yamada Tarou Monogatari (the main song is way too catchy!) and Ookiku Furikabutte, witch, of course, I completely loved and I plan to download more episodes as soon as possible (And for the record, my new sweetheart is Tajima-kun :3).

Now I need to read that damn text for tomorrow's test. Sigh.

This is getting ridiculous.

An ex called me yesterday. Not any ex, my first ex, the "school" ex.

How many years have passed since I finished school?? I'm 23 and I started the university with 17, you do the math! And he STILL calls me once a year wanting to "go out and catch up with me".

WHY??? I don't fucking know! I don't want to see him! But I refuse to even acknowledge him on my phone to put his number on a warning, and I'm not changing my phone number because of him!

And why the hell do I say yes?? Why can't I tell him that I don't want to see him, that he should get a clue and that there's a reason why I don't keep in touch with anyone from school??

Well, it's because I've always feel kinda guilty because I broke his heart. And because I don't think that's the kind of thing you tell on the phone.

You know, this is the reason why I don't have many male friends. They have to already be dating one of my female friends for me to let me be friendly with them. Otherwise they fall in love with me without even knowing me and make me feel really uncomfortable with love declarations. Argh.

Oh, you think I'm kidding? Yeah, who could think this could happen to me, uh? I'm not exactly pretty, not even close. But it does happens, every single fucking time! Since I was, what? Eight??

Fucking men and their hormones.

September 11th

I really, really don't like this date.

I don't even like to talk about it much in Spanish 'cos it involves too much emotions.

People become so hateful on this date. And with reason! I mean, a country went to HELL! Went straight to hell and still isn't over it.

I get sick remembering what I didn't get to live, thinking of the only real nightmares I ever had. My parents taken away, to never see them again. Running away from the chaos, people against each other...

I don't feeling hate like this. Hate for those who did that to my country, Hate for those who let them, hate for those who actually wanted it! Even today, damn it! I have a friend I have problems talking to 'cos I know her family is on the other side of the story, the one that was glad. The one that didn't think so many people dying matter, 'cos it-didn't-happened-to-them.

Screw it. It happened to all of us. It happened today, every 9/11 since then.

And FUCK YOU if you ever think I'm talking about the 9/11 that isn't mine. The US doesn't have the monopoly, even if they like to think they do.

I saw it. I watched the news all day long, I saw the towers go down. I felt bad for all those people. I even cried for them when I saw the footage of that day from the different cameras and all. It was bad. But it was a day. Even if it didn't feel like it at the moment. It was only a day.

You know what was happening here, four years after our 9/11? People were still scare, and still disappearing, and running away, and dying!

Goddamnit! I hate this day! I hate thinking we're getting away from the nightmares, and then it's September and people gets angry, people remember, people turn against each other again, and we can't rest.

Only a couple of blocks away from my home people are fighting right now. Sigh.

What's more screw up is that even if I feel like this, even if it's a crappy feeling, I get more hateful towards those who don't wanna remember, who think it doesn't matter anymore, it's in the past, it wasn't even our past, right? Fuck it. It is our HISTORY!! It was seventeen years of history! Yes, once a year we feel like shit and act like shit and destroy some stuff. We have problems letting go. We have problems moving on. Yeah, it's all true, but at least we care.

If you don't care about that, what the hell it's wrong with you??

I can't... Damn. I'm ending this. The lights are going to be out any minute now anyway.

Hey. I should have done this before, but anyway...

Thanks to miyuki_mina and akari_yagami for the hugs. I really needed those at the time. Now too.

And thanks to Lupe and Joana for listening to me even when I started crying like a little whiny kid. You two are the best!

Now, to the rest of the world: Go and fuck yourselves ^^